Merry New Years!

So it’s that time of year.. time for lame top ten lists, year in review specials, NPR fund drives and a shiny new war in Isreal. Well one highlight is that there will be some kick ass parties going on around town.



Finally Punk, a pretty cool little band from TX, will be playing with San Mateo's The Nodzzz on the 31st at 290 Napoleon St in SF

Butthole Surfers will be playing the Fillmore in SF.

Retarded Muppet Farm will be playing a house show in Oakland.

Sac is going to have the West Coasts first ever NYE ball drop.

And 916 local favorites Bucho! and PETS will be playing The Crest along with 12 other bands. In between sets they'll have short films. Oh and it's FREE!

Well best wishes in the coming year to all of you and I hope 2009 brings y’all whatever the hell it is you’re looking for.

Misc. news and notes:

Unfortunately it looks like force may be needed to stop the dying in Zimbabwe. But there's hope Mugabe may fall on his own.

Why are we not providing more services to our returning troops?

We'll see if I get those two days off a month.

Unemployed in Cali? Look for those green jobs.

Damn it! My Saturday morning just got a lot harder... they're discontinuing my hangover helper!

And I have a present for you on the day after Christmas. If you love Kafka and Orson Wells as much as I do then check out The Trial. It's playing this Friday at Shiny Objects.

And don't ask me why.. but I'm diggin on this little ditty.

So what do you do?

I’ll be going to a Democratic event tonight and even the most liberal of women will inevitably ask the same tired question. It’s the question that I absolutely hate … not because I don’t have a good answer.. I have twenty.. but because it assumes the measure of a man can be summed up by his occupation, by the little printed numbers on that piece of paper he receives every two weeks, by the way your mother will react when you tell her he’s a garbage man, by the way your friends will refer to him by his first name and occupation. “Oh Jeff the Banker? Bob the Plumber?” Is the measure of a man how he spends the worst 8 hours of his day, or better yet what is the nature of the question, “So what do you do?”

WHAT DO YOU DO

What do you say when they say “What do you do?” I say I play the blues on my red kazoo. That I teach yoga to yahoos. That I have a ranch in Australia where I breed blue suede kangaroos. I steal women’s shoes and sell them to perverts over an 800 line. I do gardening with lasers. I clean houses with plastic explosives. I’m on welfare. I’m on heroin. I’m on parole. I teach the art of Ninja to ninnies. I’m a professional identity designer. Nothing, I’m rich. Nothing, I’m emotionally crippled. I’m a media mogul who moonlights as a Chippendale dancer. I manufacture ladies lingerie for Frederick’s of Krakow. I play golf with beatniks. I design then live in the cities of the future... which sometimes takes all afternoon. I sell gizmos to gooks. I wholesale freeze-dried mail order brides. I design Boy Kaddafi’s stage outfits and sometimes read him his fan mail. What do I do? Well, I’m waiting for this think tank thing to come through so I can get tanked and think of new ways to screw citizens out of the dollar or two they’d like to use to buy brew but instead goes to you know who. I loot shopping malls in radiation zones. I cruise the art zoos looking for what’s new in mutations. I sell crack at the United Nations. I don’t have just one occupation. I’m an amalgamation, a confederation, a conspiracy and a conglomerate. I do what I have to do because I’m a man... that’s spelled M – A – N. I don’t do anything, I’m just a writer.

Jim Gustafson

from MANIAC MEMORIES, soon to appear from Trembling Pillow Press, 2009

I asked for a size 11!!

Ok so by now I'm sure you've heard of the shoe "attack" on George W.. but I don't think it was an attack at all. Perhaps ....

He wanted to shower his liberator with flowers but all he had were, well, shoes.

Trying to land a role in the next 007 film as the Middle Easts answer to Odd Job.

Merely trying to showcase Georges cat like reflexes.

Just proving that the Secret Service can tell the difference between shoe bombs and plain old shoes. (you go Secret service!)

Hispanic step-mom taught him the value of a chankla upside the head.

He threw his American made shoes at W and yelled, "With shoddy workmanship like this it's no wonder you can't sell any cars."

Just providing a prop for George to do his famous Khrushchev routine.

Proved that even those paid well to protect George W won't take a bullet for him, or even a shoe.

Misc. news and notes

Alas the aesthetic archetype for women (at least in my mind) has passed away at the age of 85. Now I'll probably have to suffer even more of these lame, non-curvy, knock offs.

Ok so perhaps it wasn't just McCain that was technologically inept.. and maybe Palin wasn't the only one in the campaign dumb as a stump because look what turned up on someone's blackberry.

YES! Finally someone has made a movie fit to carry the name of that timeless Ford product made famous by Starsky and Hutch... the Gran Torino! This could be the lamest movie title ever. And can Americans get over their "savior of the Asian people" complex?



It'll be a rainy Second Saturday this weekend.. but there are a ton of live shows going on in Sacramento so get out there and give your soggy support to local musicians!

GOP vs You and Me

Don’t be shocked.. but Republicans in Washington are showing their true colors in this latest turn of events regarding the proposed rescue of the auto industry. As if you didn’t already know who these old crusty white guys are working for, they’ve just broadcast it to the nation. I mean isn’t it amazing that when the investment banks were about to go belly up the republicans came riding to their rescue with no strings attached? Yet when the auto industry needs some help the republican party chooses obstructionism over positing solutions.

It’s not just because the banks overwhelmingly gave money to Republicans prior to the 2008 election cycle. That’s too easy. It’s just like Katrina, or how public services are dispersed unevenly in every American city. It’s all about class and color. Think about the folks that have been rescued and think about those who are pleading for financial rescue from their rooftops… what’s so different about these two groups?

The homogeneity of Wall Street and that of the Republican party is so similar there can be no question as to their motives. Rich, mostly white, Ivy leaguers who created this whole mess have now been given a blank check, while working class Americans who have earned a living through hard work and organized labor are now being treated as if they somehow contributed to this financial crisis. To these people labor is something to be looked down upon, while corporate greed and profiteering are rewarded. It would be funny if it weren’t so damn sad.

The republican party has ridden a wave of hatred and jingoism to the bottom.. and the most infuriating thing is that they did so by branding themselves the “working class party.” The people who helped put republicans in office are the same Americans the GOP works against every day. From labor laws to health care reform, from Wall Street to Main Street, time and time again the wolf has cast off the sheep’s clothing. But now it seems as though their base is oblivious. Or perhaps it’s just the last remnant of the American dream. By supporting the elite ownership class they can all hope to be in their company one day, but when you belittle labor than you only value those who had someone else pull up their bootstraps for them. Perhaps all of these republican voters are closeted Ivy league graduate millionaires.. or perhaps these are just the sheep the wolf needs for cover. Either way be sure to thank a Republican this Christmas when your pitching your tent on Main Street. They probably wont even hear you though, seeing as Wall Street is a gated community.

Misc news and notes

China news confirms what many of us already knew or at least suspected.

Bush is suddenly a great champion of the environment… or are there ulterior motives?

The 60th Anniversary of the UN’s Universal declaration of Human Rights is tomorrow!! Now hopefully Obama can get the US to start abiding by it.

Feeling a little queer? Well just in time for day without a gay.

This article is great! It explains why those insipid social networking sites that I loathe will fail.

And I just heard that Sam Catalano has stepped down from his position as Executive Director for the Democratic Party of Sacramento County.. both you and your boundless energy will be missed Sam!

Best not always the "brightest"

You know in yesterdays post I was discussing the value of meritocracies in relation to the soon to be vacated Clinton Senate seat. Shortly thereafter I ran across this article discussing the coming Obama administration and the need for many of those cabinet positions to be filled not on pedigree but on merit. In it Frank Rich uses the source of the now popular term The Best and The Brightest, the study of the JFK administration by David Halberstam, to analyze some of Obamas picks for cabinet members. While I didn’t agree with all of the assumptions made in Halberstams book when I originally read it, and I don’t agree with all of Frank Rich’s conclusions in his article, I do appreciate the fact that someone is at least trying to highlight the fact that a team of Ivy leaguers with little real world success is not what the nation needs at this juncture. And it appears with the appointment of Richardson and Volcker it’s not what we’re going to get. But it’s still nice to hear someone else worry about it aloud.

As Sam Rayburn said, “They may be every bit as intelligent as you say,but I’d feel a whole lot better about them if just one of them had run for sheriff once.”

Misc. news and notes:

In Greece it looks like anarchist kids on parade.

The right wing nut jobs are already at it. Luckily our Supreme Court isn't falling for their shenanigans.

Thirty million dollars, three homes and two lives lost in San Diego.

Jonathan Richman is coming to town Dec 9th (tomorrow)... you probably know him best for his role as the minstrel in Something About Mary but there's a whole lot more to this pioneer of punk. Go check it out!

Wild Strawberries.

So when I was a young punk in High School I found this great T-shirt at Crossroads Trading Co. It was a white t-shirt with the iconic image of "tank man" on the front bordered by Chinese characters. On the back was an image of a Chinese youth holding a flower and flashing a peace sign. Under that were the words "Remember the Chinese Students Revolution." I was ten years old sitting in the comfort of my suburban home when I watched kids in a dimly lit scene taking on more responsibility than was ever expected of them. I thought of that today as I read of student protests in Taiwan. And as we approach the twentieth anniversary of the Tienanmen Square Massacre (it's now called a protest on Wikipedia) I can only hope that this is more than a fleeting moment in the gradual democratization of not just Taiwan but the whole of China.

Who shot JR? Or how I learned to stop worrying and love American Dynasties.

Ok so I kept my mouth shut when Obama selected Hillary for secretary of state. Even though she personifies the plasticity and disingenuous nature that I (and most others) despise in Americas career politicians, I tried to stay silent. But now there is talk of handing Hillary's Senate seat over to another American political dynasty, the Kenneedy clan. What the hell is with Americans trying to practice Democracy by fiat? Now Caroline might be a great gal, hey Neil Diamond wrote her a song that I now have to hear at every karaoke outing, but what political experience does she have? And why should a senate seat be given to someone just because of his or her last name? I'll bet in New York there are hundreds if not thousands of individuals who have fought nearly their whole lives for progressive ideals. There are people who have worked hard, sacrificed, and given years of their lives all in an effort to improve the lives of their fellow Americans. Why would we not want leaders who have risen through the ranks by their own merit? (uhh.. BUSH!) Yes we are a celebrity-obsessed nation but if our fellow Americans continue down this path all we will be left with is a disenchanted electorate and a failed plutocracy. In other words what we've had for the last 8 years.

Misc news and notes:

So all the hipster kids are dressing like it's 1980 but the economy is going back to 74.

Ok this is a tragic story but once I read it something struck me. Dude can American guys please stop robbing the cradle in south east Asia? 45 and 22? Come on!!

The supreme court is set to hear one of the most important cases of our generation. I'm sure they could jail the guy for crimes against fashion, but lets all hope they actually support the constitution and habeas corpus.

As we create a new wave of refugees in Iraq this great little film examines some of the impacts of the last wave we created.

Quick Quote: "To live life is to weave a story. From a beginning we do not remember to an end we do not know."

Everyone loves the Lama.. why dont you?

So apparently we’re not the only ones with a puppet president. Today the “president” of Taiwan, Ma Ying-jeou, (I’m not really even sure if you could call him the President,at least not in the sovereign nation way his countrymen demand) back -peddled from his promise to allow the Dalli Lama to visit his Island nation saying, "If there's a more appropriate time in the future, we welcome him to participate in religious activities." I loved his other remark-
"It's true that the Republic of China is a country where the people enjoy absolute freedom of religion and that's the reason why all religious leaders and figures in the world are welcome to visit Taiwan."
Unfortunately it seems the citizens of Taiwan can only exercise that religious freedom at the appropriate time. I

Oh my dome!

Ok so I went to a house show last night... perhaps putting that bottle of Jim Beam in my back pocket before I left home was a bad idea cuz now my dome is ringing! Oh well one of the bands was pretty good and came all the way from Texas.


They're called Harlem and they'll be playing a house show in Oakland on the 8th. So if you're in the yay go check em out.

Misc. news and notes:

As always the losers are acting like they just won the Super Bowl.

You know I have a man crush on two guys.. Frank Sinatra and Jack Black. The first for obvious reasons.. the latter for shit like this.

And it sucks but it looks like Charlie Brown lost his congressional race. Sucks! I worked on the campaign during both of these attempts and it just makes me wonder about the folks living in the 4th CD.

And can we PLEASE get rid of Charlie Rangel ?

Happy Trails Mom!

So on a personal note (ok all of my posts are littered with personal notes) my mother retired from 30+ years of state service today. And besides the impending constant harassment regarding me making her a grandmother, I thought of what this steady stream of retiring baby boomers from state service means for the future of our state and our economy. For generations now the most reliable employer of the middle class in California has been the state government. But now with the economic downturn (did you hear it’s officially a recession? Oh joy!) the state has not only laid off tens of thousands of workers it has also implemented a hiring freeze. On top of that PERS has projected that approximately 25,000 California government employees are set to retire next year if numbers just hold steady.
What does that mean to the economy? It means that if a hard freeze is implemented some 25,000 middle class jobs will remain vacant indefinitely (except for a very few positions likely to be covered by an exemption). Combine that with the new retirees living on a fixed income and it’s all bad news. It’s not like our state is in the best shape as it is (see this cool little article) but is a hiring freeze and the threat of reduced wages really the best idea? While others are touting government works programs to help the economy rebound our governor thinks the best idea is to close one of the last doors open to the middle class. Good thing he’ll be set to retire soon too .. too bad it may not be soon enough.

This thing called love

Ah love… that amorphous emotion we all yearn for. This year one man got more love than any other.. and no I’m not talking about Michael Phelps with his zillion gold medals and his new high class girlfriend. I’m talking about Obama fool! I mean people came out of the woodwork to help this guy, including myself. I spent a good amount of time in Nevada trying to get this thing done.. as did a lot of other unnion members. I know quite a few college kids who traveled to other states on their own dime just to help out. But why? Because we love the guy.. or at least the idea of him.

Here we were stuck in an eight-year relationship with the dumbest schmuck to ever hold office. We thought he had gone overboard with Iraq, then we get Katrina. We thought he couldn’t go any lower when he got his friend to lie straight to our face about WMD’s ..then we find out about rendition and torture. After all of that we had finally had enough. Now some new guy walks onto the scene and BAM.. we’re all gaga. I mean sure Hillary was there too.. but she’s so 1996 and besides we went with one of the Clintons before and that really didnt work out too well.

No it was the new guy. And with him we could project whatever qualities we hoped he possessed. He was charming and dashing… he said all the right things and even if he faultered every now and then we were oblivious. And besides.. he really loves us too right? Well now the honeymoon is about to be over.. he’s moving in to our apartment and he brought a whole bunch of junk with him. I mean do we really need the fathead poster of MJ on the wall? Do I really have to put up with all of your obnoxious friends? But that’s life right… he’s ours now.. warts and all. So we must not throw up our hands and scream bloody murder every time Barack makes a choice we don’t agree with. Instead, lets embrace his foibles and follies knowing that he’ll always be a hundred times better than that last loser.

And lets all hope that at the end of the day Barack is the man we imagined him to be and we’re left with more than just chicken bones and tea leaves… because that’s about all I’ve ever gotten when it comes to this thing called love.

Altered Beast

Ah.. after such a long hiatus from this blog I have returned. Like in that timeless Sega game Zeus has commanded me…. “Rise from your grave!”

Ok perhaps not. Maybe I returned to gloat and to celebrate the sweeping victory achieved this past November. Perhaps I returned to reclaim my blog name after it has been co-opted and used for other blogs , post titles, and even a song. (ok they changed it to Blue Tide Rising,… but I still got there first!) I’m sure I can say that this is all exercise for my mind muscle.. but what did a buff brain ever get any of us?

Perhaps it's like most things men do in life, for the affection of a woman. Or perhaps I just wanted to write something other than interpretations of tax code. But the important thing is I'm here, and so are you.

So I have returned victorious…. and somewhat smitten. Looking over my old postings I’m hoping my writing has improved over the years.. but I assure you I will continue to provide you with the same biting sarcasm and wit that you’ve come to love/loathe. And no it wont be another 3 years until my next posting….